On Winning The Cold War But Losing 3 - 0
I’m not a funny guy, but one joke that has done well during my travels is the one where I name the characteristics of Americans that have helped make us the world’s lone super-power: “we’re humble, passive, non-violent, open to alternative beliefs, have a propensity for multilateralism, and we’re definitely not arrogant.” Something to that effect and it’s funny because it’s not true. Well, not entirely. For some of us it may actually be true, and for most of us who spend time abroad, you really can’t afford to be too much of an American. That is, to be the complete opposite character of the joke.
Unfortunately, the cosmopolitan, humble, passive American is the picture of the US soccer team. These are probably some of our most worldly athletes – lots of time abroad and half the team plays in Europe for 6 months of the year. From a young age, our elite soccer players are taught that the rest of the world does their job best; that they are playing a second-rate version of a sport that is, domestically, not even second-rate. I can’t think of too many professions where Americans suffer from such a stigma. Just how much our soccer players suffer was on display last night as they were basically pushed around for 90 minutes by a team that was entirely more confident that they belonged at the tournament and were destined to excel at it. The biggest problem with that is that it’s what we’re usually best at.
With that in mind, I’m going to have to advocate for sending only NBA players or high-ranking Republicans to South Africa in 2010. Let the mild-mannered cosmopolitan boys get us there through the qualifiers, but when it comes to the world stage we should only be represented by Allen Iverson, Ron Artest, or Condoleza Rice. C’mon, Condi could’ve willed in at least one goal against the Czech Republic.
Tags: World Cup; NBA
Unfortunately, the cosmopolitan, humble, passive American is the picture of the US soccer team. These are probably some of our most worldly athletes – lots of time abroad and half the team plays in Europe for 6 months of the year. From a young age, our elite soccer players are taught that the rest of the world does their job best; that they are playing a second-rate version of a sport that is, domestically, not even second-rate. I can’t think of too many professions where Americans suffer from such a stigma. Just how much our soccer players suffer was on display last night as they were basically pushed around for 90 minutes by a team that was entirely more confident that they belonged at the tournament and were destined to excel at it. The biggest problem with that is that it’s what we’re usually best at.
With that in mind, I’m going to have to advocate for sending only NBA players or high-ranking Republicans to South Africa in 2010. Let the mild-mannered cosmopolitan boys get us there through the qualifiers, but when it comes to the world stage we should only be represented by Allen Iverson, Ron Artest, or Condoleza Rice. C’mon, Condi could’ve willed in at least one goal against the Czech Republic.
Tags: World Cup; NBA
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